Hanged in Comfort

The American Dream. That phrase shoots hope into the hearts of thousands. It's something to reach for, to seek after, and to leave hearth and homeland and journey stateside for.

Isn't it?

In reality, the American Dream might be a gallows that we've erected for our own hanging.

Dictionary.com defines it as "a life of personal happiness and material comfort as traditionally sought by individuals in the U.S."

It used to be a dream of a better world, one much like Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr talked about in the 60s. Now it seems to be a dream of fame, sports cars, credit cards, and self help books.

I often find myself pondering the meaning of life. What are we, as humans, meant to do here? Is there a purpose to finding material comfort?

Personally, I feel stuck in a pattern of making and spending money, going to school so I can make and spend larger amounts of money, and searching for new trends in everything from movies and music to fashion and exercise. When I look at it from the outside, it all seems so pointless, yet I still long after the things I think will satisfy me.

We're so quick to judge our peers on their appearance, their taste in entertainment, where they live, their job, their family, their dog.... the list goes on. We admire people who appear to have "made it" and look down on the person who works at the local fast food joint to make ends meet. 

So what is life supposed to look like?

I have a dream... it is this romanticized picture of what I want my life to be. I have so many different things I want to experience, so many people I want to meet, and so many places I want to live. I've never really liked the idea of stability or the whole "family, dog, taking the kids to soccer practice" thing. I long to love people as they are and let them love me as I am, even if we don't agree with each other on everything, or anything. I want a life where the word stereotype doesn't exist, where I can get to know people based on who they are and not on my first impression of them.

But what good is that picture I just described if it hasn't stopped me from chasing fame, power, or money? It hasn't stopped me from judging people on their appearance, their status, their friends. I'm still just as comfortable as I've always been. I was blessed to be born into a stable family. The only things I have to worry about are whether or not I'll have the money to buy the most fashionable clothes or the newest toys or a better car. Never mind that I have perfectly good clothes, I eat well, I'm going to a wonderful school, and I have a working car.

Whew, you made it through my ramblings so far. You've basically just been given a slightly more organized version of my thoughts lately.... hang with me, we're almost done.

So what does it all mean? How do we make our lives worth something more than our bank account?

As I've been praying about these things lately, I've realized what God wants us to do here on earth.

Jesus said that the greatest commandment is to "Love the Lord with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and to love your neighbor as yourself."

Could it be that simple? Maybe. When I truly begin to value people over property, life looks radically different. There aren't stereotypes or facades or jealousy, there's only Love. Sure, people make mistakes and I'm sure I'll still find myself judging people in the future. But tripping in the right direction is better than walking easily in the wrong one.

The purpose question is settled, but there's still the question of what to do about the materialism in our culture and where these things find their place.

I once heard the phrase, "faith dies in comfort."

Now, I don't necessarily believe this means I need to sell everything I own and live in poverty. And it doesn't mean that money or cars or entertainment are evil, as many Christians have come to believe. Instead it means that they should not be what we seek after. 

When we forget the reason we are here on this earth, which is to love both God and people, we start to believe material wealth and self gratification are the highest goals.

However, Revelation 3:17 says, 
"You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked." 

Basically, I've come to realize that the same blanket that comforts us often tightens around our neck like a noose. We feel like we've arrived and we soon suffocate in our lack of purpose. We forget that God never intended for us to arrive somewhere and remain stagnant, repeating the same cycle until we die of either old age or complacency.

So, in the end, if the American Dream is one of material comfort and it's true that faith dies in comfort, I never want to find solid ground.

Throwing Stones

     The other day, I was sitting outside on the patio of a deli near my school, enjoying the fresh, warm air, eating my favorite salad, drinking tea and soaking in the glory of being almost done with my Junior year of college. That's when it happened. Two tattooed women came out to the table next to me, lit up their cigarettes and talked quite loudly about getting laid and how much they love their grand kids (in the same conversation). It was honestly the weirdest conversation I've ever been a witness to. What I didn't realize at that moment was that I had instantly started judging them. I was annoyed with them the moment they came through the door and that made me even more judgmental of their conversation, the way they looked, and the smoke that was blowing in my direction.
 
     I'm ashamed to say that I was so annoyed that it made me angry when one woman took out her journal and began to talk about what God was doing in her life. She then began talking about people that I love to read: Richard Foster, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, and Thomas Keating. What distress I was in!! Cringing as I heard these men discussed by two women who clearly weren't in any position to appreciate them.

     It was only after they left and I had thoroughly discounted them did I realize what had just occurred  I had just been counted among the Pharisees. In Luke 7, Jesus is dining with some Pharisees when a woman entered the house, broke a flask of perfume, and washed His feet. The Pharisees were so offended. All they saw was wasted perfume and a woman who was not worthy of love, respect, or their company. They were judgmental of her actions because they had already decided that she was not worthy to appreciate the value of the perfume that she had so foolishly disposed of.

     In that moment, I did the same thing. I discounted those women as unworthy and clearly not capable of seeing the value of these people they were talking about. In a sense, I had taken it upon myself to deem them not worthy of the Savior's love. Now, I don't know their hearts. I don't know how much or what parts of their conversation was genuine. But who am I to judge that? At what point did I stop loving people and start condemning them? When did this sense of religion take over my life to the point that I stopped valuing people? As Christians, we have thrown too many stones and it's time for us to go back to the basics of what Jesus taught and truly love and value those around us instead of pretending like we are better than them while silently condemning them.

A Dangerous Prayer

     Have you ever heard of a dangerous prayer? It's the type of prayer that many Christians warn you about. The kind of prayer that won't just rock your boat, but will capsize you and threaten to drown you. The Book of Common Prayer contains a prayer like that. It's called "The Franciscan Blessing." When I chose to start praying this blessing every day, I was not prepared for the effect it would have on my life.

The prayer goes like this,

"May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships so that you may live deep within your heart. 

May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people, so that you may wish for justice, freedom and peace. 

May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done."

     This prayer asks God for three distinctly different things: discomfort, righteous anger, and childlike foolishness. God seems to be taking His answer to this prayer in three stages as well. He's has begun by giving me a discomfort at my apathy and superficiality. He is stirring things deep inside me that I didn't know still existed. He is bringing areas to my attention where I have accepted these half-truths and easy answers and dismissed them as unimportant. I feel things shifting in my life. My paradigm and view of what is important is changing. As terrifying as that is, I can't wait to see what this new light brings.

     People have cautioned me to be careful when I pray prayers for anger at injustice or for the Lord to "break my heart for what breaks His." But I've found that I want that. As painful as it may be, it will be worth it if it will bring me closer to the Lord's heart.

    I think that this prayer is like a rainstorm. The first stage, the discomfort, is like the thick, heavy sky that you see before it rains. You walk outside and you can practically taste the moisture in the air and everything feels electric around you. I always love the refreshing moment when it actually begins to rain, but there is something exhilarating that I love about that period before the rain comes, when the sky is churning and ready to burst. You know it's coming, it's just a matter of when.

    The second stage, the anger, comes when the sky lets loose its torrent of water. A rainstorm can be one of the most powerful forces on the earth, taking down everything in its path, washing away clutter and dirt and exposing things that haven't been seen for years. Sometimes, the most powerful storms last only a few moments and then are gone, but they leave such an impact that they affect the world for years after.

    The third stage is the period after it rains; the childlike foolishness to believe that you can make a difference. You see the rainbow, a sign of hope, and you believe that you can do the impossible. There's nothing so hopeful and clean as the smell right after it rains. The moment when you know the world has been washed clean and you know that the doubters must be silent for a time. The sun comes out and you dance in its rays while leftover drops of rain spray from under your rain boots.

   None of these stages lasts forever. They come and go. Sometimes they're stronger than others. Sometimes you don't notice they happen until they're gone and sometimes they're so strong that it takes every ounce of your energy to stay upright against the surge. So, to answer all those people who say this is a dangerous prayer to pray; I say, "Let the storm come!"

A Tiger for Easter

     Our country celebrates Easter in a variety of ways. Some do so by watching The Passion of the Christ, participating in lent, or going to a stations of the cross service. Some celebrate by hiding colorful eggs in the yard for children to find and then going inside for a delicious meal. This is one of the Sundays of the year where church attendance goes up exponentially, only to drop again by next week. In the face of such a diversely celebrated holiday, do we really know what it means? I chose to celebrate differently this year than I have in the past. I didn't have an egg hunt, I didn't have a ham like we usually do. I didn't get to see my family. Instead, I did some new things. I participated in Lent, went to church this morning and went out to eat with some of my friends from school. But those aren't what I wanted to talk about.

     Last night, I was watching the movie Rendition and I realized that the meaning of Easter can be found in as unexpected a place as an R-rated movie. This movie is about an Egyptian-born man and his family. When this man is extradited out of the country to be tortured and questioned about a terrorist act, his family is left to sort out the mess. His wife, played by Reese Witherspoon, is determined to do whatever it takes to find him and she confronts some of the highest powers in the government. There are multiple story lines here and if I tell you too much more I'll give it away (something I'd hate to do because it's a brilliant movie). However, each of the story lines end in redemption and sacrifice. The movie has many political themes, but the foundation of the film is the idea that if you love someone, you will do whatever it takes to save them - even laying down your own life.

     Jesus did that for us. That's the ultimate reason we celebrate Easter. All the things that surround Easter are possible because He loved us enough to lay down his life for us. So what do we do with that? Do we thank Him and move on? Do we become martyrs for Him? Do we try to live perfect lives? What does He expect from us?

     A few years ago, I was at a conference where John Bevere was speaking. He said something that has stuck with me all this time. He said,

 "God never asked you to live right. He asked you to die right so that He can live through you."

That thought is echoed very clearly in Galatians 2:20. The verse says, 

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

     To me, this means we lay down our own lives - our dreams, desires, plans, relationships, talents, and resources - at the foot of the cross and we follow the Lord. He loved us enough to die for us so, in return, I want to love Him enough put Him first, die for Him, and let Him live through me. It's more fun that way anyway. My dad always likens a life of following Christ to holding onto the tail of a tiger. The tiger twists and turns and you hold on, never knowing which way it will turn next. But not knowing is part of the adventure. 

    Jesus died so that we might live for Him and we die so that He might live through us.  It's not easy, but it is simple. You have to hold on with everything you have in you. So this Easter, thank the Lord for what He did for you, grab hold of the tail, and ride the tiger.

A Cage of Our Own Creation

  Eleanor Roosevelt is responsible for my favorite quote. She once said, "The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams."
       I got a gorgeous bracelet that had that quote engraved on it for my high school graduation. Sadly, I misplaced it sometime within my first year of college and with my bracelet went my discipline to believe in my dreams. I have big dreams. I always have. I'm not really the typical "American Dream" girl. Not that that's bad, because it certainly has a valuable place. But I don't want to settle into a comfortable life and never accomplish anything more than that.
        In Tolkein's book Return of the King, Eowyn says that the thing she fears the most is "a cage." Her deepest fear is "to stay behind bars, until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire.” I think that what she's talking about in this passage is a certain sense of apathy. A cage becomes comfortable and normal after a time. Although it's never satisfactory, it becomes the norm.
           Once you accept the boundaries of your cage, you forget to dream. When you forget to dream, you become less disciplined. I found myself doing this with my dreams of going to Los Angeles. I want to work in the film industry, but I realized I'm not truly doing anything to get there. I've been going through school, yes, and I've been learning so many good things here. However, I haven't saved a penny. I haven't  begun to write or be disciplined in honing my skills for when I get to LA. I've become comfortable in where I'm at and have chosen not to see beyond the bars of my cage. I'm not suggesting that my school is a cage or that I don't enjoy it here. I love it. I've grown so much,  made so many valuable friendships and learned so many wonderful things. However, I need to remember that I won't always be here. I'll be set free into the world in a year.
         When an animal is in captivity for a long time and then is released into the wild, it sometimes refuses to come out of its cage. This is because the cage is all it's known. The cage is the safe place. But the cage is not where it will truly thrive. We're meant to live life to the fullest, to run through forests (metaphorically of course... unless you enjoy running through forests, then go for it!), to leave a mark on the world that won't soon be forgotten. But until we decide to dream beyond where we are right now, to decide how much that dream means to us, and to be dedicated enough to prepare for it, we will live and die in a cage of our own creation.